Elemental Belonging: The Radical Practice of Saying "I Have Time"
Each of us is a seed that needs love and care to grow and become our potentiality. Before we are executives, founders, or organizers, we are elements of nature. We are bodies.
Elemental belonging is our ability to return to, find comfort in, and care for our actual bodies and the material stuff we carry alongside and abide in during our lives. It is our remembering and embodying that human beings are not apart from nature, but that we are a part of nature right alongside the rocks, rivers, birds of the air, and more.
To reconnect to our humanity while working to win, we have to tend to what we are made of, physically. Yet, leadership seems to recommend that we disconnect from this reality in order to be successful at what we do.
The disconnection looks like skipping lunch, sacrificing sleep for early morning meetings and late nights, working at the computer through eye strain and headaches. There are other examples. What are yours?
You and I are biological organisms. More often than not, however, we run our lives like nodes on a machine - hands on a clock that never stops ticking. This is how fascism wants us. It underfunds us, overworks us, and abandons us when we need care most. This is the reality for movement leaders as we watch so many in philanthropy retreat and stifle to see which ones of us will survive. Systemic oppression is corny, played out, and so persistent.
Alarms are ringing all over the place these days that leaders are burned out, organizations are shutting down, and people are losing it. People, especially Black women (if you don’t know this to be true, find a source to learn more), are impolitely and politely telling funders that we need air to fulfill our mission. Literal air so that we can pause long enough to take deep breaths between grant reports, site visits, crying, and layoff discussions. Our bodies are constantly under attack as we learn to take shallower and fewer breaths.
Do We Know It Could Be Different?
In her book The Body Is Not An Apology…, Sonya Renee Taylor writes, “Relationships with our bodies are social, political, and economic inheritances. The nature of these inheritances has changed over time, the default body morphing and transforming to suit the power structures of the day.” My stepfather is a long haul truck driver and I have worried about his health in this sedentary profession. I worry about the wear and tear on his body from the lack of movement. Increasingly, I have a similar worry for myself.
I thought my body was protected, safe, off the table because, essentially, I am a knowledge worker. I talk, think, build behind the scenes systems as labor every day. Turns out this work from home way of being in the movement is threatening my body too. Have you heard that sitting is the new smoking? That early morning or lunch time work out isn’t offsetting the negative consequences of all that sitting. The evening community meeting that serves a pizza dinner isn't making up for the lunch I skipped earlier.
In the social justice movement, the bodies are diverse - exposed on front lines of protests and direct service provision, in conference and living rooms planning, and often at a desk chair typing away and listening on Zoom.
A few months ago, I was on a call with about 30 people. Each of us had a chance to check in and answer what is something we are doing to reset our nervous systems. Answers ranged from 4-7-8 breathing to pulling weeds in the garden. There was also more than one person who responded that they didn't know they could reset their nervous systems.
Our constant doing, thinking, and striving is overloading our bodies. Whether it's the tightness across our necks and shoulders or the high blood pressure on our medical charts, our bodies are routinely signaling to us, then begging us, then insisting - that heart attack, that missed step that put you in a cast and out of office for 2 weeks - that we stop.
So many of us are trying to return to our bodies. We're learning to breathe intentionally with meditation apps. We are seeking embodiment experiences to understand and witness where our emotions show up in our bodies through generative somatics.
We are trying to do better for ourselves because we believe future generations will be better off for it and now is the time for us to do our part. We are going to need systemic and structural change, collective care, and our own self-love to make it long enough to pass the baton though.
In The Salt Eater, Toni Cade Bambara asks, “Are you sure, sweetheart, that you want to be well?” My resounding answer is yes. I am going to try to be well.
I’ll say it again, sacrifice to the point of sickness is not a liberation strategy that builds systemic durability for ourselves or our organizations.
Time to Get Better
To belong to our own bodies, many of us need to practice slowing down. That’s not just a physical act; it requires a psychological rebellion. Learning to repeat to yourself, often out loud between one thing and the next, "I have time," is a rigorous practice. No one said loving ourselves is easy.
“I have time.” Time for what? Time to schedule a lunch break on my calendar. Time to give myself a bedtime I follow regularly. Time to shut down the laptop before the pain comes.
This practice provides an opportunity to convince myself that I am entitled to move at the speed the combined elements of my body require, rather than the speed of contrived due dates and timelines. I can find my elemental self connected to another way of belonging, to the Earth.
When we ground ourselves in Elemental Belonging, we stop trying to outpace the natural world. We learn to move to the biological rhythm of the seasons. To be clear, this way of belonging can include sprinting. We are not sloths! We can move quickly when we need to. However, we must learn to distinguish between the sprint, the marathon, and the lovely walk.
We can actively plant in the spring, fill ourselves with an abundant summer harvest, slow down as the temperature drops, and unapologetically rest when winter demands stillness. Of course, we can adapt and improvise along the way.
However, honoring our elemental selves requires a different relationship to time than late-stage capitalism would have us believe is allowed. Many of us are full throttle in the hecticness of summer life right now - balancing work, vacations, time at home with loved ones, outdoor celebrations and activities. Amidst all of this, what would happen if you practiced telling yourself, "I have time"?
adrienne maree brown asks, “How do we learn to harness the power and wisdom of pleasure, rather than trying to erase the body….? Could we make justice and liberation the most pleasurable collective experiences we could have?” Big questions, for sure. Working our way towards the lovely consequences of pleasure, I think many of us need to practice saying “I have time to feel good”. Small actions though, the kind that help us practice returning to ourselves throughout the day, can help us move toward accepting that we deserve to be well, and that includes feeling pleasure.
An Invitation! A Practice for Elemental Belonging
To move from a conceptual understanding of Elemental Belonging towards a practice, I have something for you to consider.
Inspired by my curation of the Black Women at Home Project, I have created a card deck to help us return to ourselves and self-soothe. The cards include a quote from one of the women I interviewed for the project, an offering from my own consideration of the quote, reflection questions, and a practice (the “grace yourself” opportunity).
To receive this specific practice and start claiming your right to say “I have time,” connect with me at Seed and Structure by joining our mailing loop. Once you share your email, I’ll send the digital card and practice link directly to your inbox.
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